28 September 2008
Church Bulletins
Thursday/October/08 21:50 Filed in: Humor
These are actual excerpts from Church Bulletins that
are pretty funny. Hope you enjoy.
*Registration for the fasting and prayer conference includes meals.
*The morning sermon is titled " Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight is titled " Searching For Jesus"
*Ladies don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
*The Peace making class scheduled for this afternoon has been cancelled due to a conflict.
*Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
*For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
*The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy"
*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in grade school.
*At the evening service, the sermon will be " What is Hell". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
*Eight new choir robes are currently needed because of additions of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
*Scouts are collecting aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
*Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
*Potluck Supper Sunday at 5. Prayer and medication to follow.
*Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to the fellowship hall for lunch after the B.S. is done.
*The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.
*Weight Watchers will meet Thursday at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
*The Associate Minister will present the new tithing campaign slogan "I upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
*Registration for the fasting and prayer conference includes meals.
*The morning sermon is titled " Jesus Walks on the Water" The sermon tonight is titled " Searching For Jesus"
*Ladies don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
*The Peace making class scheduled for this afternoon has been cancelled due to a conflict.
*Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.
*For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.
*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
*The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy"
*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in grade school.
*At the evening service, the sermon will be " What is Hell". Come early and listen to our choir practice.
*Eight new choir robes are currently needed because of additions of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
*Scouts are collecting aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
*Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
*Potluck Supper Sunday at 5. Prayer and medication to follow.
*Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to the fellowship hall for lunch after the B.S. is done.
*The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.
*Weight Watchers will meet Thursday at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
*The Associate Minister will present the new tithing campaign slogan "I upped My Pledge - Up Yours"